There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops