- Anti Joke

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

I saw a dog pick up a dead bird with its mouth. Crazy cause the bird had ants and maggots all over it, it smelled bad. Well anyways the dog drops it, and he stares at it for a few seconds. Then another dog comes and tilts his head. I'm guessing he's confused and is like "why did you pick that gross thing up? " So they both leave the bird there, in the first dog's owner's backyard. (He was on the cemented porch, not the grass. Just so you can picture it better) Okay well the two dogs go to the park, hoping to get some action with other dogs. Yeah, they were out of luck. There was no one there cause it was Christmas Eve. Who goes to the park on Christmas Eve? Do you? I know I don't. So the two dogs walk out of the park, heads down because well they're sad. On their way out, they see a dog with a bird in its mouth. They keep going because the dog was ugly, heading to the neighborhood going to the first dog's owner's backyard. They take a sip of water from the stainless steel bowl, munch out on some dog food. The dog food was from a 50 pound bag of dog food, it had all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals dogs need to be healthy. Oh and the brand was Iams. Pedigree is for owners that obviously don't care for their dogs cause Pedigree sucks. The owner of the first dog bought the food at the nearest PETCO for around 30$ That's crazy. 30$ for dog food. That's a good owner spending good money on his dog. I would do the same. So when the dogs were done eating, the first dog looks for the dead bird. (The bird the first dog had picked up at the beginning of the story) Turns out the bird is missing. Where could it have gone? The two dogs look everywhere. Then after 20 minutes the second dog says "Hey! We're being clumsy. The third dog had a bird exactly like yours! " So they run to the park hoping they'll find the third dog. He wasn't in anyone's sight until suddenly a familiar voice coming from behind says "Looking for this, Bimbos? What fool would leave such a delicious bird like this in their owner's backyard? " The first dog says "Hey! Give me back my bird! " The third dog refuses. So they begin to fight. Then the second dog snatches the bird And runs away with the bird. The two fighting dogs are still fighting till they notice the horrible stench is gone. The second dog isn't anywhere in sight. That shit cray.

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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