Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops