How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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