Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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i just pooped that is all!

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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