What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

dallen loves penis

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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