A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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