How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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A whole 'nother.

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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