Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops