Nobody cares maddie!

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops