What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops