What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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