What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Roses are red, yup.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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quantum physics?

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops