Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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