knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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knock knock who's there? faith

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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breasts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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