A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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