Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Lololol

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops