Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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