why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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