There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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whats 2+2? 4

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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