A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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