Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Once upon a time a was born

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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