A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

What do u call a gay dinosaur Tyran a sore arse

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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