You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Dwarf Shortage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -4

autistic kids rock

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops