- Anti Joke

What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

pauls tuck

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

rabbits running in my bathroom!

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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