What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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