Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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How's the weather? Good.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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why are balck people black because they are

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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