Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

your mom.

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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