What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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A guy thought it could be funny to write a joke that is not and post it on a social network. And did it

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops