A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Good job, son.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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