what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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I? Everett

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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