-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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