what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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