Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Read a Book.

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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David Cameron

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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