Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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The turd said crazy turd so many cows have ninety two ears and it walked away to the store and drank doors while juggling feces and racist jack-o-lanterns.

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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