What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops