Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

Want to hear a joke? Obama

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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