Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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