Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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