What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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outside your comfort zone

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops