Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops