why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops