How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

A baby seal walks into a club.

BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

Hello.

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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