A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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