What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Denard Robinson

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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