- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops