What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

how did harry styles get in one diretion god

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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