How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops