What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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