What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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