look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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