What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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