I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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Whats green? The color green.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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what's black and can't swim?

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops