What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops