Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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